ABC for MBAs |
Real-life lessons for MBA students
Corporate Responsibility
Case Study #1:
Corporate Governance
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him: "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Q: What can we learn from this?
A: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Competition: what is this article about?
Determined
"We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".
Crash Course in Management Speak |
|
Says: |
Means: |
That's very interesting. |
I disagree. |
I don't disagree. |
I disagree. |
I don't totally disagree with you. |
You may be right, but I don't care. |
You have to show some flexibility. |
You have to do it whether you want to or not. |
We have an opportunity. |
You have a problem. |
You obviously put a lot of work into this. |
This is awful. |
In a perfect world. |
Just get it working and get it out the door. |
Help me to understand. |
I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't think you do either. |
You just don't understand our business. |
We don't understand our business. |
You need to see the big picture. |
My boss thinks it's a good idea. |
My mind is made up. I am adamant on the subject. There is no room for discussion. But if you do want to discuss it further, my door is always open. |
F%^$ you. |
I appreciate your contribution. |
F%^$ you. |
We're going to follow a strict methodology here. |
We're going to do it my way. |
I didn't understand the e-mail you said you sent. Can you give me a quick summary? |
I still can't figure out how to start the e-mail program. |
Cost of ownership is a significant issue. |
We want all of the benefits and none of the costs. |
We have to leverage our resources. |
You're working weekends. |
Individual contributor. |
Employee who does real work. |
Your project is on hold. |
We've put a bullet in it. |
Wrong answer. |
You didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. |
You needed to be more proactive. |
You should have protected me from myself. |
I'd like your buy-in on this. |
I want someone else to blame when this thing bombs. |
We want you to be the executive champion of this project. |
I want to be able to blame you for my mistakes. |
We need to syndicate this decision. |
We need to spread the blame if it backfires. |
We have to put on our marketing hats. |
We have to put ethics aside. |
It's not possible. It's impractical. It won't work. |
I don't know how to do it. |
It's a no-brainer. |
It's a perfect decision for me to handle. |
I'm glad you asked me that. |
Public relations has written a carefully phrased answer. |
I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal. |
One person couldn't possibly come up with something this stupid. |
There are larger issues at stake. |
I've made up my mind so don't bother me with the facts. |
I'll never lie to you. |
The truth will change frequently. |
Our business is going through a paradigm shift. |
We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future we shall do something completely different. |
Value-added. |
Expensive. |
Human Resources. |
A bulk commodity, like lentils or cinder blocks. |
The upcoming reductions will benefit the vast majority of employees. |
The upcoming reductions will benefit me. |
Mergers & Acquisitions
Mergers & Acquisitions (cont.)
Eager to impress the Boss A young MBA was leaving the office late one
evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a
piece of paper in his hand. |
Leadership vs. Management When Noah heard the weather forecast he ordered the building of the ark. |
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